NaBloPoMo Day 17: No Possible Marketing Campaign Will Ever Make This Okay

I was thinking on the way to work yesterday about car make/model combinations that would never work. What got me thinking about it was the Chevy Avalanche, and the realization that the name was based on something potentially disasterous.

Dan and I used to stay up late at night thinking about things like this. When we were first dating, we once stayed up half the night making up haiku about people we worked with. He has helped me come up with the following:

• The Subaru Tsunami
• The Chevrolet Cholera
• The Cadillac Coitus, and the sub-compact model Cadillac Coitus Interruptus
• The Mercury Mulatto
• The Toyota Tourette
• The Saab FU69
• The Chrysler Chlamydia
• The Suzuki Smegma
• The Ford F-Word
• The Volkswagon Vulva (Brings new meaning to the words "New car smell.")
• The Lincoln Lethargy
• The Izuzu Impotence
• The Acura Alzheimer (Comes standard with built-in navigational device)
• The Pontiac Prioprism
• The Mercedes Mathausen (Just because a joke is never funny if you have to explain it, Mathausen was a Nazi forced labor camp in Austria from 1938-1945.) Built to compete for the same market as the BMW Buchenwald.

I could go on and on, but, as usual, I'm not sure if I'm being funny or just juvenile, but we had lots of fun making the list. Any suggestions, besides "Stop eating lead paint chips?"