Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Too Weird For Me To Be Making It Up

Let me just say that people who find this blog using Google are probably disappointed at how mundane and disgustingly suburban my life is. I'm sorry, but there is no Mom+boy love, or Oldre mom+boy, or naked mom love boy, here, or at least not the kind you're looking for. Oh, and you're a big creepy skeev, by the way, and if I ever find a way to figure out who you are, I'll publish your email address. Go away.

Is it possible to synthesize Val Kilmer? Sadly, no. Because if it were, I would synthesize him circa 1985. Behold:

The Navy regrets to inform you that that guy was eaten. By this guy:

Dude: step away from the guacamole. That is tragic.
Illegal to sell cars in Maryland on Sunday? Not that I know of, but I haven't tried.

How to evict your boyfriend If he signed the lease, legally, you're probably stuck with him. If he's that shitty though, do yourself a favor and evict yourself instead. Move out while he's at work. I did that once.

Is it illegal to dye chicks in California? Clearly not.

Heroine Crushed By what? This sounds like a good story.
Google Best Pose For Conceive A Baby Clearly, I can't remember how I posed, or I'd go ahead and pose that way again.
"Literally take a test drive" Yeah,, "literally" and "practically" are NOT the same thing. If you're on your couch, you're not test driving anything but your remote control. Don't take liberties with the English language since you clearly don't have a grasp of its finer points.

And my personal favorite...
Backpack Sex Machine I bet you're a hit at parties, aren't you?


Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah said...

Can I synthesize him as Jim Morrison (resembling Kip Winger)?

Jenn said...

Yes he was sexy then but he was great in Tombstone it was the best part he ever played ! However I did love Iceman better then little tom cruise in Top Gun which my friend and I watched so many times we knew all the lines because we were dorks haha!