Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Dear Comcast Cable:

To: Comcast
From: Molly
Re: Two Small Points of Order

1. You cannot tune into OnDemand New Cars and "Literally" take a test drive. If you were "literally" taking a test drive, you would be IN A CAR, not on your living room couch with your remote in your hand. That is what literally means, you bunch of illiterate goobs. Your commercial does absolutely nothing in regards to making me want to buy a car. It makes me want to pour myself a stiff drink, dump out the drink, and eat the glass.

2. Your tech who came to my house yesterday arrived nearly an hour late. When I pointed that out to him, he said, "So? Were you making me breakfast?" I did not answer that question before I told him to get out of my house. The answer was no. I was not making him breakfast. And the next time you send one of your smelly, ignorant, ankle-tether-wearing degenerate techs to my house and they arrive so much as two minutes after the appointment time or wise off to me, ever fucking again, please let them know that they can anticipate being followed down the stairs by every piece of Comcast equipment in my posession, including the THREE cable boxes that have stopped working in the year and a half that I've had Comcast Digital Cable, as I will throw them off the deck at his head. So Help Me God.

Yours very truly,

That Woman Who's Angry Every Single Time I Call


Treen said...

Oh my GOD if that dude literally said that to me I would have hit him square in the junk with my nonworking cable box. I'd also probably claw his eyes out while screaming incoherently. Did you call them and report it??

p.s. I let out a big fat "AWWWWWW!!" when I read Dan's comment on your last post.

merseydotes said...

Let me use this moment to tell you how happy we are that we ditched Comcast a couple years ago and went with Verizon DSL (not totally perfect but more reliable than Comcast) and DirecTV. Love the DirecTV, love the service techs that come. So happy not to have to deal with that piece of shit Comcast anymore.

Candy said...

Oooh you sound like me after each and every phone call to AT&T. ALthough, I have to give credit where it's due. One of their reps actually CALLED ME BACK TODAY!!! I felt faint.