I Can't Actually Believe This Is Happening.
As I type this, my company's COO and the new markets consultant are in my office discussing a deal with J.P. Morgan Chase. I was working with the COO when the other guy wandered in to talk to him, interrupting me.
When it turned out that the conversation was going to take more than 30 seconds, the new markets guy took a seat.
This is what I can't believe: He is sitting on my desk.
I am not kidding. He pushed my inbox out of the way and just plunked right down.
What the holy hell?
He is still talking. Quick, leave me a comment and tell me what in the name of God I should do. I am so stunned by this lack of etiquette, I am powerless to do anything except post it on the internet.
4 comments:
Mase him. Scream incoherently. Tip your desk over. Show him this comment. Spill coffee on his crotch. Staple his leg "accidentally". Dump a drink over on the desk so it soaks into his rude ass. Sit on his lap. Sit next to him and play footsie. Poke him in the ass with pens. Stand up and start moving your desk with him on it. Pull the drawer out and dump all of the contents on him.
Tell him that your feng shui person told you to keep that inbox there at ALL times for good karma, so set it on his lap and ask him to hold it there or shove it into his leg, since you're just following orders. I mean, if people are getting fired to buy a feng shui consultant, it MUST be important.
Those are just the things I would do, although I'm not sure they're beneficial if you intend on actually keeping your job.
What an ass. Too bad you can't go back in time and leave something slimy and dark for him to sit on.
Start poking him with a pen.
Spill that half drunk cup of cold morning coffee you must have on him. Accidentally on purpose of course.
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