In Response To Your Many Questions...

So, in looking at my Google Analytics report of the search terms that bring people here, I am concerned that you all are not finding what you're looking for. Unlike Sarah and the Goon Squad, I don't get a lot of requests for things like The Doodlebops without makeup (thank God), but I have to say that there are still a lot of weirdos out there. And they're reading my blog.

So, in the spirit of giving the people what they want...

How Tight Should My Pants Be?
Well, that really depends. How fat are you? As a general guideline, you should be able to sit, stand, and bend over comfortably, you shouldn't have muffin top spillage, and I give two big thumbs down to panty lines. But you also don't want them falling off if you take your hands out of your pockets, and baggy doesn't really flatter anybody. Nobody looks good in skinny jeans, really, not even the Olsen twins, so consider something bootcut, to balance out your hips and make your legs look longer. In short, my answer to this question is, not as tight as Chloe Sevigney's.

Naked Mom
...Yeah. I don't have anything like this.

Trying To Conceive Websites

Well, if you're here, you've actually found Trying Not To Lose Your Shit While You Fail To Conceive Websites. But good luck.

Naughty Harry Potter

Merseydoats, shame on you.

Harry Naughty Pooh

WTF is this?

My Schedule Is A Little Tight

I'm sorry to hear that. I suggest honing your time management skills, but if that doesn't work, delegate.

I always think these are hilarious. There are some weird people out there, like the searches I got for Harry Potter Treasure Trail or some variation of that a few months ago. What are your favorite web search hits on your blog?