...And No, I Am Not Going To Have A Nice Day, You Putz.

The last twenty-four hours have seen the following for me and my family:

1. Explaining to my mother that our new house is not in a flood plain.

2. Dan's Back to School night--which involves working from 7:15 in the morning until 9:00 at night.

3. Me coming home from picking Max up at daycare to discover, inexplicably, that our electricity was off.

4. Me struggling through the voice prompt menu at Pepco to discover that our bill is paid and there is no reason for our power to be out, and yet, here I stand in the dark.

5. Me being told that our power would be turned back on "some time before 7 p.m. on Thursday."

6. Okay. Nothing to be done about it, once I'm done yelling at the Pepco representative (which, predictably, got me nowhere.) Put Max into his pajamas, go to school to pick up Dan from school.

7. Go to bed in the dark.

8. Wake up, still in the dark, stuck to my bed with sweat. What did people do before air conditioning?

9. Get ready for work/school/daycare, walk out the front door of our apartment, and hear Dan say these words to me: "Um...Where is our car?"

Yes indeed. Our car registration expires in July of 2008. That would be 07-08. Not August of 2007, or 08-07. Anybody think of any reasons why that might be an important distinction? Our car was towed. The cop who ordered the tow called me personally to apologize this afternoon, rather profusely. I don't think I called him a fat, lazy, ignorant pig-fucking moron or anything, but I really did think about it, and I feel quite certain I did not come across as friendly, or receptive. There will be no charges to get our car back, but nor will there be any reimbursement of my husband's cab ride to work, the car I rented to make sure that we would have some kind of transportation (by the way, if you're thinking of buying a Chevy Cobalt, don't frickin' bother), or the day of work that I missed, dealing with this unbelievable series of fiascos. Is fiascos a word? Fiasci?

This is really it. I just really am at the end of my frickin' rope in regards to ridiculous, unnecessary expenses, inconveniences, and things that make me feel and/or look like a giant mess. In the next 22 days, nothing...and I did just say NOTHING...is allowed to go wrong.

Do you hear me, internet? NOTHING!