Things I Learned While Commuting This Morning

1. Max can chew through the lid of a container of strawberry-banana yogurt like a rabid ferret. And I do not carry a spare set of clothing for him. Because I'm stupid.

2. A short Starbucks straw will disappear completely into a venti iced coffee. I also do not carry a spare straw. Again, because I'm stupid.

3. My husband never took trigonometry in high school.

4. No matter how inconvenient it seems at the time, don't take 495 south to the 295 exit just before the Wilson Bridge during rush hour traffic. Get on at Indian Head Highway and just take the goddamned flyover, because no matter how backed up traffic seems, it will be infinitely worse anywhere else. Did I happen to mention that I'm stupid?