Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Things I Might Or Might Not Be Doing While I Wait

Hand to God, I am often the stupidest person I know. Also, one of the most easily amused.

In re-writing the lyrics to this song, I learned several things. One is that it looks like I am probably too old to fully enjoy a Snoop Dog concert anymore, which is too bad.

Another is that nothing really rhymes with "bonbons."

Here's the original:



"Sit Around" by Molly (with assistance from Dan)

See the couch, crawl on in,
Ain't no way I'll be thin.
Eat cookies by the tin
I know it's a sin
I'll tear the whole sack up and then I'll eat the backup.
Eat the jellyroll and your colon won't act up.
Sit down, grow round, don't put that pie down.
Got a spinning feeling staring at the ceiling,
Pancakes for breakfast, eggs you can dunk,
Extra butter on rye,
I think my pants have shrunk.
Feel 'em growing, thighs that are chunking,
I eat more times than cops in a Dunkin' Donuts shop.
Sugar Pops I got, I'm eatin' my fill
Plus an onion bagel with lox.

I came to sit down, I came to sit down,
So eat up, eat up and get round.
Get round!
Get round!
Eat up, eat up, choke it down!
Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! (Etc.)

I got an ass like Fats Domino,
Shrimp, grits and gravy goin' down like a ho.
Word to your moms, I'm eatin' bonbons,
I got more juice than a bucket of prawns.
And like a cheeseburger that's never been turned
The pizza delivery man he never gets burned.
'Cause I got ice cream and you ain't got none,
And if you're trying to take it I got a shotgun.
But if you do, here's some gruel, 'cause it's all I got left
Don't step to me 'cause I'm all out of breath.
I gots the skillets, come and eat your fill
'Cause you might eat to live but I eat to kill.

I came to sit down, I came to sit down,
So eat up, eat up and get round.
Get round!
Get round!
Eat up, eat up and choke it down!
Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! (Etc.)

Pie a la mode, ice cream on the top,
I like the buffet 'cause buffet never stops.
Or better yet, barbecues,
It's been so long since I've seen my shoes
I'm eating the Twinkies up in twos
But I'm not going out with a coronary
Gastric bypass is for the ordinary
I'll be up up and around
My weight's gonna be going down
Cleaned out the fridge and then you wake up in the CICU
I'm comin' to get fed, I'm comin' to get fed
Eating brownies with frosting and breakfast in bed.

I came to sit down, I came to sit down,
So eat up, eat up and get round.
Get round!
Get round!
Eat up, eat up, choke it down!
Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! (Etc.)

16 comments:

Treen said...

Oh my crap I am laughing so hard. Please don't name TNG Bonbon.

P.S. It's "Scrimps", not shrimp. I work in a restaurant in Flint, I would know.

M.C. Dawn P! said...

That is freakin hilarious! It really touched my heart when you mentioned brownies with frosting. Now I am drooling like Homer Simpson.

Anonymous said...

Ok, that is hilarious! I have not laughed so much in a long time!

Rita/Fighting Off Frumpy said...

New to your blog - and what a post to read first! This is awesome, and I got a good laugh out of it. :) (Plus, being 28 weeks pregnant and incessantly hungry myself, it fits me to a tee!)

sarah said...

so hilarious. I love this!

Maggie May said...

snort snort

Anonymous said...

I found this site using [url=http://google.com]google.com[/url] And i want to thank you for your work. You have done really very good site. Great work, great site! Thank you!

Sorry for offtopic

Anonymous said...

Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!

美好 said...

援交友留言,視訊聊天室,成人貼圖站,情色視訊,情色論壇,美女圖片,080視訊聊天室,正妹牆qk176,18sxe成人影城,080視訊聊天室,免費交友,情色a片,台灣成人網,情色a片,聊天交友,台灣情色,情人貼圖,上班族聊天室f1,成人網,正妹交友,成人視訊,彰化人聊天室,台灣情色網,免費聊天,美女交友,丁字褲美女寫真,情色,免費視訊聊天室,777成人區,哈啦聊天室,0401視訊美女,免費色情影片,成人視訊,免費視訊,正妹牆自拍, ut聊天室,免費視訊,免費視訊g,八國聯軍成人,聊天室ut,

thomasenaalicea said...

hello~nice to meet u..............................

Anonymous said...

成人露點寫真成人頻度成人飲片成人裸體成人裸體寫真集成人視訊成人視訊秀成人視訊站成人視訊網站成人論壇線上分享情色文學情色免費聊天室情色免費試看情色免費小說網情色免費下載gogo男同志視訊g視訊聊天室hilive影音視訊hk免費視訊美女honey聊天室honey視訊honey視訊聊天hot視訊kiss視訊msn免費視訊交友h貼圖sex888貼圖sexy貼圖sex打炮貼圖sex成人貼圖天天情色天天性愛天天幹情色圖貼天天幹情色貼圖區天天幹情色貼圖天天幹圖貼天天幹色情圖天天看文學天天看小說大乃美女如何學接吻如何做愛如何做性愛如何做個性感女人如何跟網友聊天

簡單 said...

Man proposes, God disposes...................................................

Anonymous said...

I just found the website who reviews about
many
home business ideas

If you want to know more here it is
home based business
www.home-businessreviews.com

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Maggie May said...

i just found you and your blog and love what i've found! your last post on your friend Mark is very touching.
and this song is hilarious.

香水 said...

先告訴自己希望成為什麼樣的人,然後一步一步實踐必要的步驟。........................................