How About DEADMOM?

Thanks, Google, for once again freaking me right the eff out.

How did Luke Wingo Die in The Prince of Tides? He was shot by Green Berets who were sent to the town to find him after he made some threats against the government, which had torn down his hometown to build a nuclear power plant. Of course, you could just re-read the book, but why? I just ruined the ending for you.

The Rock is Cooking's Mother I have to say, I am not sure what we're referring to here. If you mean Dwayne Johnson's mother, she's from royal Samoan lineage, but I can't seem to find a picture of her. If you're refering to just some random mother, cooking rock, allow me to suggest that a more apt Google search might be "Crack Whore Mom."

"I Hated Pan's Labrynth" Me too.

What Can I Knit For A Wedding Present? Depends. I am really liking organic cotton/linen washcloths with a monogrammed initial knit into them. They are quick to knit up and they're surprisingly beautiful and they last forever and just get softer and softer every time you use them. I am also a big fan of an afghan, although you really have to like someone a lot, because enough decent yarn for a whole afghan is, like, a pretty sizable investment. A woman who comes to my knitting group on Wednesday nights had friends who recently got married and she knitted them each a sweater and the bride's sweater was the most gorgeous winter-white wool cabled aran thing I think I've ever seen, it really was, and if your friends are sweater people, this makes a beautiful and deeply appreciated gift, particularly if they've been together awhile and already have lots of dishes and silverware. If you really are just friends with the bride and you're significantly more talented than me, you might think about doing a lacy wedding wrap or shawl in the palest blue you can find, and then it's her "something blue" and also her "something new." I have just reconnected with a friend from elementary school who is getting married in December and am already thinking about what might suit her. Along these lines, Trina and Gerry's wedding gift still isn't done, because I never ever knit just one thing at a time, but it is really almost finished and I can't wait to show you pictures.

My schedule is full, my schedule is tight I'm sorry, should I be thinking of a word that rhymes with "tight" to end this little poem with? Because that's not really what we do here.

Things a Woman Should Master Theoretical physics. Macroeconomics. Writing a sincere and gracious thank-you note. Picking out wines and beers. How to give a blow job. I may have just crossed a line; I'm just saying, these are things people appreciate.

Son flirts with Mom in the car Oedipus complex on wheels.

And the big winner:

Vanity plate ideas for mom who passed away Why does she need a vanity plate? She's not still driving, is she, for God sake?